Jani Toivola’s column: “Who will break the silence?”

Actor, author, and Finland’s first Black Member of Parliament, Jani Toivola, reflects on the power of community and the danger of silence. “What matters most is the courage of the majority – to speak up, to stand beside others, to break the silence across all boundaries,” Toivola writes.

I’M STANDING in the middle of the gym, listening to a podcast. In it, Australian professional basketball player Isaac Humphries talks about the moment he came out to his teammates. For years, he had carried the secret alone. He had even contemplated suicide because of his sexuality and undergone hypnotherapy in an attempt to “turn himself straight.” This isn’t a story from the 1980s – it’s a story made of flesh and blood in the year 2025.

To this day, Humphries is believed to be the only openly gay professional basketball player actively competing in the world. Once he came to terms with his identity, he knew he wanted to be open about it in his professional life as well. But before that, he had to come out to his teammates. Ahead of the conversation, the team’s management suggested they could have special jerseys made, each featuring a Pride flag. The idea was to take a team photo in the shirts, a symbolic gesture to show they stood with Isaac.

But at the last moment, Isaac asked them not to hand out the shirts. He didn’t want to put his teammates in a situation that might make anyone feel uncomfortable. He shared his truth, and the response was warm: many admitted they had sensed a guardedness in him that had lasted for years. After Isaac’s speech, one player noticed the pile of Pride jerseys in the corner of the locker room and pulled one over his head. One by one, the rest of the team followed. Eventually, the entire team stood around Isaac, all of them wearing the Pride shirts.

AND HERE I AM – still standing in the middle of the gym – and crying. I’m surprised by the intensity of my own reaction to Isaac’s story. A story that speaks of a community where every member is met with respect and dignity. A community that does not remain silent or turn its back on anyone.

And every time I find myself crying over stories like this, I’m reminded of just how deeply I still carry the weight of other people’s prejudice and discriminatory attitudes. How often I move through daily life with tense shoulders, bracing myself, staying alert, swallowing my thoughts. I let things slide. I accept the fact that even in 2025, as a gay man and a father to a young daughter, I still have to witness people around me debating whether I am “normal,” whether my love is worthy of a church blessing, or whether I should have had the right to become a parent at all.

“Every time I find myself crying over stories like this, I’m reminded of just how deeply I still carry the weight of other people’s prejudice and discriminatory attitudes.”

While the rights and recognition of LGBTQ+ people have progressed, the atmosphere remains deeply unpredictable across the globe. This has become especially clear since President Donald Trump returned to office. On the very day of his inauguration, Trump signed an executive order declaring that the United States would recognize only two genders: male and female. Federal agencies were instructed to dismantle all diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. The Trump administration has also decided to eliminate the dedicated support for LGBTQ+ youth within the United States’ national suicide prevention crisis line.

These are not just symbolic changes. These decisions have far-reaching consequences, not only in the United States but around the world. With a single order, years of progress were dismantled, and a new era of silence and suppression was set in motion. Here in Finland, we are facing a situation where a citizens’ initiative to ban so-called “conversion therapy” may be dismissed, sacrificed to the personal values of a single government minister – while no one speaks up.

EACH OF US should remember that most people in the sexual and gender minority communities, like Isaac Humphries, have had to “come out of the closet”, and many are still living in hiding. Some fear for their lives. Some lose their lives. Nearly all of us carry scars, even as we try to live our lives as fully and joyfully as we can. Not as victims, but as people who love, ourselves and those close to us.

We are parents. We build families. We are part of generational continuums and the ongoing story of life. We didn’t just appear out of nowhere, we have a history. A history that deserves to be acknowledged and spoken aloud. A history we must learn from, so that we can choose differently, act differently.

“We must not forget: the most dangerous thing is silence.”

And we must not forget: the most dangerous thing is silence. Silence leaves people isolated and defenseless. What matters most is the courage of the majority: to speak out, to stand alongside, to break the silence across every line and border.
We can choose to live in a world where even a passing stranger can, if only for a moment, be a fellow human being.

When we make space for one, we make space for all. Thank you, Isaac Humphries, for sharing your story. May you – and no one else – ever have to be the only one in the room again.

About the author: Jani Toivola is an actor, author, and father. He served as Finland’s first Black Member of Parliament (2011–2019) and was one of the few openly gay elected officials of his time. Today, he is the artistic director of the TOIVOLA Festival, which he founded.

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Text: Jani Toivola Images: Seemi Peltoniemi Illustration: Antti Kekki

Published on 25 Jun, 2025